The Courage to Change: Why Transformation Fails (and How to Make It Last)

Most of us say we want change. A new role. A healthier body. A more balanced way of working.

But change is rarely as simple as deciding and doing. If it were, none of us would struggle with habits, self-sabotage, or the same old patterns playing out again and again.

The reason? True change doesn’t happen on the surface. It happens in the deeper layers, in the beliefs, identities, and unconscious stories we carry about who we are and what is possible.

Take weight loss as an example. It’s one thing to change what you eat. It’s another thing entirely to become the person whose identity, habits, and self-concept are aligned with lasting health. Without that deeper embodiment, the old self eventually reasserts itself, and the change doesn’t stick.

The same is true in leadership. I’ve worked with clients who wanted a new job but unconsciously carried the same patterns into every workplace. They weren’t simply choosing a role; they were re-creating a familiar dynamic, sometimes toxic, sometimes draining; because their deeper beliefs told them this was “normal.”

To truly change, we must have the courage to confront what lies beneath the surface:

• The safety of old patterns, even when they don’t serve us.

• The inner child who clings to comfort in the form of old habits.

• The unconscious beliefs that say, this is who you are, and it cannot be otherwise.

This is not easy work. It requires courage, not just to take new action, but to become the person who lives from a new identity.

At the Equinox, nature reminds us that cycles turn, seasons shift, and change is woven into life itself. The question for leaders is: will you resist it, or will you embody it?

✨If this seems a bit overwhelming, we explore these questions and find true answers, together, in our Coaching Campfire Circles. A space to share wisdom, reflect deeply, and rebalance in community. We aren’t designed to find our balance alone.